Cliffs of Moher, Co. Clare, Ireland. April 2026.

A couple of months ago I submitted a piece of writing to a competition, and it didn't get shortlisted.
So, I thought I could share it here because, why not?

The idea was to write a piece inspired by local artist's work suggested by the organisers, and I chose the one below, by Susan Gilkey. Here's my poem Grieving the Unknown :

Grieving the Unknown
by Arantza Belmonte

I find myself grieving.
Grieving you and grieving me.
Grieving us.

I find myself grieving our story,
as we sit beside each other
reading quietly at home.

You read your book and I...
I pretend to read mine.

The wave of Grief has taken over me.
I can't seem to have the strength
to turn a single page.

You don't notice, of course,
and I prefer it that way.

There's no point in both of us
grieving a story that hasn't ended,
just yet.

My body empty, and my spine broken.
There's nothing to hold on to
but skin and a pile of bones.

My shoulders drop with a loud sigh.
Ah, it seems there's still a bit of air
inside my pressed lungs.

You lift your eyes to look at me gently.
Ah, damn it, I've been brought back
to the sofa, to this room, to your side.

You look at me with a tender smile.
You take my hand, weaving softly your fingers with mine.
The Grief lightens, and the air brings my lungs back to life.

Well, I suppose,
there's no point in grieving a story,
whose ending is yet unknown.

I find very interesting how we can feel actual grief and sadness over things that have not yet happened.
Our minds make our hearts feel how painful can something unknown be. It is such an unbelievable power.

We grieve what could have been, but would never be — or something like that.

I thought about this after a few of my art pieces or poems have been rejected in applications for art residencies, competitions, exhibitions... Also, when courses and events I was really looking forward to got cancelled.
Of course, I reflected on this many times that I felt hurt and sad in my relationships.
When I felt hurt by my partner, my family, my friends... Imagining how life would be without them,
how I'll pull myself back together. Imagining the pain, the darkness, the loneliness. Sometimes these thoughts are based on my life experience, most times I just make them up I guess.

It is a dark place to be, and a difficult one to get out from when you're vulnerable.

How fascinating it is that we can drag ourselves deep into those places to the point of actually suffer over something that is not real. But it feels so damn real, doesn't it?

Good news is, I believe we can do the same for more enjoyable emotions. Right? I think I should practice that more.
And don't get me wrong, I think we should transit all emotions in order to know ourselves, explore and discover how we relate to the world around us and to each other. But if I can bring myself to a state of joy, peace, excitement... I won't say no to that.

Have you ever experienced this?
Is there a specific scenario that triggers this kind of journey for you?
How do you get out of the loop?

I'll be very curious to read your thoughts.
Thank you for opening this letter, and reading it all the way to the end.

We'll chat again soon.

Love,
Arantza.